Tuesday, July 14, 2015


You might have panicked and dropped me like a hot rock. 
But guess what, even with my heart breaking, hot is what I am. I'm walking down the street and getting double takes from all the guys. 
I'm picking myself up. I'm looking life in the eye. I'm a country girl, that's what we do. I'm pulling on my boots and I've got my hat on, and yes, it's camo.

I'm that girl that you are going to be sad that you left behind. 
I'm gonna spend my first little while away from you crying, wondering why, and what I did wrong. 
Then I'm gonna realize that it wasn't me. 
I didn't do anything wrong. 
I loved. 
That's not a problem. The real problem was that you weren't man enough to tell me that it wasn't going to work out. You couldn't even text me and say sorry but I need a break for a little while. 
You ran. 
My problem was that I held on. I do that. 
I'm going to learn one of these days how to let go. Right now it's still hard and my heart is still breaking. I'm struggling to allow myself to feel these feelings without getting overwhelmed. 

I'll get by. I am strong. I am tough.
 I'm still going to be sad when I see you, but I'll work through it. 
I still long for your touch, but I'll forget it someday. 
I deserve more than what you gave me. 
I'm a lady. 

And those little things you liked best about me, my optimism, how I'm not squeamish, how I know the bush, the way I handle my horses. Those are still me, along with the one thing you couldn't handle, my love. 
I am those things because I love. 
I love quickly, I love deeply, and I love for a long time.

Go ahead and watch me walk away. 
My heart is breaking, but my head is up, my shoulders are back, I walk straight and true and I have a smile for anyone who looks me in the eye. 

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