Saturday, June 20, 2015

Let go of the past

I try not to be annoyed. 

I try to not let little comments (or continual comments) get to me. 

I won't compete with my own family.

I just try to live my own life in a way that makes me happy. 

I try to help animals, I try to help people, I'm a good friend, I'm a even better girlfriend, and I do my damned best to be a good sister. 

Why she thinks this is a competition is beyond me. 

She is happily married. 

She has a payed off house.

She has two good jobs. 

She has lots of friends. 

Why does she think she has to wreck my relationship with my boyfriend? 

He has a history. Yes I know his history. Way more than she'll ever know. 

He is a honest man. Sometimes he tells me more about his history than I ever would've dreamed of asking. I never asked once what his history was. He freely told me. 

When he told me that he trusts me it almost made me happier than when he accepted my invitation for a drink. 

I trust him. I have since the first date, when I brought him home to my house where I lived alone and we talked for hours. If I hadn't of been so shy I would've let him stay the night that night. 

I have spent many nights in his room. He holds my hand, he cuddles with me, he makes me laugh, he gives me a different viewpoint on life that makes me think, and he has never once done anything that might make me uncomfortable or anxious.

I would spend the next ten years with him if he wanted. 

But anytime he makes a 'mistake', she thinks that she has a right to say that he has slipped back into drugs, even if that 'mistake' is to not contact me for a couple days. 

He held my hand while we were walking and in the sweetest moment I've had with him, he nervously told me that in a couple years when he moves back to NB that there would be a place on the dairy farm for me and my horses if I wanted. 

I like this man and I seriously think that I am going to love him one day. 

Why can't she be happy that I'm happy. Even if it's not with her ideal match for me. I would never be content with someone like her husband and she would never forgive someone like my boyfriend for his past. 
We are different people, so we gravitate to different people. 

We are sisters. 
We will love each other and we will hate each other. 
To quote the movie War Horse, 
"I may hate you more. But I will never love you less" 

All I ask is for her to back off from my man,

Trust me when I say that I am happy, 

And accept him as part of me so long as I claim him as part of me and my life. 

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