Saturday, November 28, 2015

Checking in on life

Two years ago I wrote a list to help me explain to my doctor what I was feeling. 
Here is that list. 

Anger, then turns to sadness
Fear and anxiety
No feelings ether way
Eating just out of necessity 
Highs are not very high
Lows are more common and last for a long time
Crying spells 
Life seems worthless
The smallest thing turns my high day to a low day
No energy
Forget everything

I'm a chameleon and I go with what ever someone says. 

When someone else is laughing, I can't eve imagine what it feels like anymore. 

I was diagnosed with severe depression and Post Traumatic Stress symptoms shortly after this. 
I went into intense therapy and my doctor started me onto a low dose medication.    

I reread this to remind myself what it was like, that I have come a long ways and that I need to maintain what I and so many other people have build and helped build. 

I am allowed to cry, I am allowed to laugh, I am allowed to express all the emotions that I am feeling. 

I am even allowed to sing and dance simply because I feel like it! 

If this is what it feels like to be a person, I want to help others to figure out how to feel this way. 

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